The following information offers some suggestions as to how you can support your child with any concerns that they may have.
Emotions and Behaviours
Different emotions lead people to act in different ways. For example, when people feel low in mood or depressed, they often have poor motivation and struggle to get going. It is important to remember that lots of the behaviours we see are not about someone being ‘lazy’, not ‘wanting to help themselves’, or just them ‘wanting to pick a fight’ but are actually signs of emotional distress. It is not uncommon for children and young people to have difficulties talking about their feelings sometimes because they can’t put them into words, and sometimes because they don’t understand them themselves.
Common Feelings and Behaviours that can be associated with emotional stress:
Feelings can include: being anxious, worried, moody, depressed, lacking in confidence, numb, hopelessness, low self-esteem.
Behaviours include:
- Avoiding situations which cause anxiety
- Restlessness, being ‘keyed-up’, or on edge
- Difficulty sleeping/tiredness
- Loss or increase in appetite
- Engaging in unhealthy, risky or harmful behaviours such as drinking to deal with anxiety
- Limiting daily activities to reduce levels of anxiety. For example, staying in the safety of home etc
- Becoming overly attached to someone or something and not wanting to leave them
- Panic attacks
- Low motivation. Difficulty starting things or carrying them on
- Avoiding social events and activities
- Difficulty speaking, thinking clearly or making decisions
- Difficulty remembering or concentrating.
- Tearful
- Aches and pains without obvious cause
- Moving more slowly or being more restless and agitated
- Use of alcohol, drugs
- Self-harming or suicidal behavior
Changes in a person’s usual behaviour can be a clue that someone is feeling more emotional or worried than usual. By observing behaviours, we cangain clues asto how someone might be feeling, even if theyare unable to talk about it. Just as behaviours can give us clues as to how someone is feeling, changes in behaviours can also help alter how someone may feel. For example, listeningtoclassical or relaxing music has been shown to help people feel less anxious and less depressed. Therefore, by helpingyour child to do more positivebehavioursoractivities, you will be helping them improve theirmental wellbeing and yours. Smallchanges inbehaviours can have a big impact on overall wellbeing.
What can we do to help?
Below is a list of 5 areas of wellbeing which are known to improve emotional wellbeing. By encouraging your child to do a range of things in each area, you will be helping their wellbeing. Below are some examples of different wellbeing promoting activities which you might want to encourage your child to try, or you may want to use them to come up with your own ideas of what will work for you and your family.
Connect with others - Strengthening relationships and feeling valued and close to others is good for wellbeing.
- Watch films or a box set (or two) with someone
- Share some funny YouTube clips with someone
- Talk to someone in your home or on the phone, through SKYPE, FaceTime or similar
- Play a game or plan activities to do in the home with people
- Message a friend to ask about what they are doing
Stay active - Being physically active improves mental wellbeing whilst decreasing anxiety and depression as does eating healthily and getting enough sleep.
- Create a routine to do every day
- Plan a household schedule and agree how the household will run with everyone at home every day
- Create a rota or plan for household jobs and things that need to be done
- Do some physical activity in your home, stretch your arms and legs, do a YouTube exercise class, dance to your favorite songs, start an indoor exercise challenge app, do weights with some tins of beans
- Clean a room in the house
- Get up at the same time each day and go to bed at the same time each night. Avoid laying in all day
Take notice - Paying more attention to the present moment boosts wellbeing.
- Put your phone down and notice what’s around you
- Be close to nature, have pictures of nature around the house
- Use your 5 senses (sight, touch, smell, sound and taste) to notice the things around you to do a usual task like drinking a hot chocolate
- Open the window and watch and listen to the animals and birds outside
- Grow some herbs or plants on a windowsill
- Try a new food and notice how it tastes, feels, smells
- Close your eyes and notice what you can hear
- Notice the nice things other people in the house do for you and tell them
- Download a mindfulness app and practice every day
- Listen to your favourite music
- Create a box containing activities which your child can go to and use when they are distressed or when they want to calm down. Pick items which use the 5 senses. It might include colouring pens and pictures, stress ball, bubbles etc.
Learn - Learning and seeking out new things stimulates the brain and helps contribute to wellbeing.
- Do something which gives a sense of mastery or skill
- Try something you’ve never done before
- Research something interesting to you
- Play a quiz with friends or family online or face to face
- Learn a new hobby
- Read a book
- Tidy or rearrange the furniture in a room
- Try a new recipe
Give - Acts of kindness, no matter how large or small, can increase happiness, life satisfaction and a general sense of wellbeing.
- If you aren’t staying home, put a note through a neighbour’s door asking if you can get them any shopping etc.
- Sort through your things and get things you don’t want ready to go to charity
- Offer to help someone do a task
- Bake a cake or cook a meal for someone
- Give your pet a hug
Useful Websites, Helplines and Resources
The Mix support service for young people and any difficulties or worries they may be experiencing. Helpline: 0808 808 4994 Crisis Messenger: 85258
Mind Shift app will help you learn how to relax, develop more helpful ways of thinking, and identify active steps that will help you take charge of your anxiety. This app includes strategies to deal with everyday anxiety, as well as specific tools to tackle: making sleep count, riding out intense emotions, test anxiety, perfectionism, social anxiety, performance anxiety, worry, panic, conflict. Free.
Catch it. Learn how to manage feelings like anxiety and depression with Catch It. The app will teach you how to look at problems in a different way, turn negative thoughts into positive ones and improve your mental wellbeing. Free.
SAM. This is a friendly app that offers a range of self-help methods for people who are serious about learning to manage their anxiety. Free.
C.A.L.L Community Advice and Listening Line offers emotional support and information/literature on Mental Health and related matters to people of Wales. Anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend can access the service. C.A.L.L. Helpline offers a confidential listening and support serviceTel: 0800 132 737 Text: 60062 or website: callhelpline.org.uk
The YoungMinds Crisis Messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support, you can text YM to start the text. Text: 85258. Young Minds has information and resources for parents and professionals. They also operate a parent helpline Monday to Friday 9.30am–4pm, for any worries or concerns about a young person behaviour or mental health under 25. Helpline: 0808 802 5544 Website: youngminds.org.uk
NHS: has a range of self-help materials (examples shown below); https://web.ntw.nhs.uk/selfhelp/
Men’s Health Forum: All men and boys - particularly those in the most disadvantaged areas and communities - will have the information, services and treatments they need to live healthier, longer and more fulfilling lives. https://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/more-about-us
Headspace: This website from Australia has a wealth of resources and videos for parents and caregivers of young adults age 12-25 years who have mental health concerns. http://headspace.org.au/family/
National Self Harm Network: resources, advice, support forum: nshn.co.uk
Papyrus: UK charity for the prevention of young suicide (support for young people and parents/carers): papyrus-uk.org
Bullying: Information and support about bullying: bullying.co.uk
Get Self Help: A website with self help ideas on how to cope in distress: getselfhelp.co.uk
Kelty Mental Health Resource Center: Numerous resources for parents and caregivers can be found at this website including a resource library and family toolkit. http://keltymentalhealth.ca/family
National Institute of Mental Health: Working to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses, NIMA’s website provides guides and brochures directed at parents: nimh.nih.gov/
Teen Health: This website helps parents care for their child’s ups and downs, from dealing with divorce to preparing for new siblings. Also provides information on how to understand your child’s behavior, whether it’s toddler tantrums or teenage depression: teenshealth.org/parent/emotions/
Hub of Hope: provides a nationwide mental health database, which brings help and support together in one place no matter what you're going through. https://hubofhope.co.uk/
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: SAMHSA provides information on mental health services and treatment centers using a service locator: findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
Beat: Caring for someone who has been diagnosed with an eating disorder can feel overwhelming and exhausting: beateatingdisorders.org.uk/supporting-someone/support-for-carers
Parent’s Guide to Getting Good Care: Parents are taken through the steps in finding the best professional for their child, and the most appropriate treatment. Available from Child Mind Institute at: childmind.org/en/parents-guide-getting-good-care/
Kooth: Free, safe and anonymous support: kooth.com/
Togetherall: 24/7 anonymous access to a wellbeing platform togetherall.com. Students can get guidance from clinicians alongside a variety of self-help creative courses and psychoeducational materials.
Parents Club: Mental health advice for parents during coronavirus: parentclub.scot/articles/mental-health-advice-parents-during-coronaviruso
Keeping Children Safe during community activities, after school clubs and tuition: This guide will help parents and carers choose a safe out-of-school setting for their children to attend.
